I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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