Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
