Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
