Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
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So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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