wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
