Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
