..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
