I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
