she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
