Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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