I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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