How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
