My liver just broke up with me...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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