I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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