Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I wanna go to beed woth a nboy

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(248): I wanna go to beed woth a nboy http://tfl.nu/x43t

Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (1179)
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(212): View more from New York

He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"

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(212): He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances," http://tfl.nu/u663

Replies (83) Good night (3564) Bad night (2832)
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(518): View more from New York

Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man

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(518): Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man http://tfl.nu/kiog

Replies (32) Good night (2519) Bad night (4956)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began

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(570): 12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began http://tfl.nu/mu8u

Replies (21) Good night (5256) Bad night (1047)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution

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(703): Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution http://tfl.nu/2lwu

Replies (6) Good night (3104) Bad night (966)
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(613): View more from Ontario

The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...

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(613): The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music... http://tfl.nu/dqnk

Replies (7) Good night (2683) Bad night (711)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.

(1-304): View more from West Virginia

Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?

(304): View more from West Virginia

No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.

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(304): I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us. (1-304): Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat? (304): No there was a goat. I gave it a donut. http://tfl.nu/bds8

Replies (15) Good night (6494) Bad night (976)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?

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(203): If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche? http://tfl.nu/avjw

Replies (22) Good night (3037) Bad night (825)
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(314): View more from Missouri

It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.

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(314): It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved. http://tfl.nu/gg0m

Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (393)
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(509): View more from Washington

Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.

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(509): Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe. http://tfl.nu/eubr

Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (1049)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.

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(318): I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case. http://tfl.nu/3tdp

Replies (11) Good night (1764) Bad night (457)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things

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(248): Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things http://tfl.nu/ht36

Replies (9) Good night (1197) Bad night (611)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends

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(304): I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends http://tfl.nu/jtxo

Replies (6) Good night (489) Bad night (755)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.

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(785): Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas. http://tfl.nu/amy7

Replies (6) Good night (869) Bad night (228)
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(305): View more from Florida

Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.

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(305): Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/6foo

Replies (0) Good night (505) Bad night (219)

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