there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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