Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:

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(813): View more from Florida

y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(951): View more from California

Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.

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(409): View more from Texas

We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.

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(914): View more from New York

If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.

(914): View more from New York

I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.

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(917): View more from New York City

Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early

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