Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
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I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10