Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.