Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I cannot find my penis.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I wear drunk well.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
