So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
