Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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