Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
