there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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