Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
