I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
