Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize