Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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