i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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