glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
