yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
