She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
