oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
