There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
this hospital has no fireball
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
