i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize