I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
