marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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