i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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