Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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