If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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