I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
