brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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