the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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