And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
