I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
