I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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