Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
