I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
