I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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