I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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