i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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