I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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