I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
