don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
