Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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