apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
