What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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