Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
