My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
