Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
