I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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