Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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