I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
